Sigh no more, Lady, Sigh no more

like an idiot, I'm in love. I'm idiotic in the way I love - not that to be in love is to be an idiot.
I want him more than he has time or inclination to want me. And there is my folly. I need stronger pride that says, like it used to, "if you do not love me, that is all i need in order to know that it will not work, and I should let go."
It's not very complicated, but seen through the haze and looming shadows of past events, I think it must be. So I reach out to him and hope. But it's not.
It is not complicated.
He likes me, but he does not love me, and that is all I need to know it will not work, and I should let him go.
Can you tell I'm trying to convince myself?

all I do the whole day through is dream of you

I've been counting up my sleeping and waking hours the past few days, the pattern goes like this:

21 hours awake.
3 hours sleep.
19.5 hours awake.
2 hours sleep.
14 hours awake.
7.5 hours asleep.
3 hours awake.
2 hours sleep.
11 hours awake.
6.5 hours sleep.
23 hours awake.
2 hours sleep.
14 hours awake.
1 hour asleep.

Now I'm awake again. I'm not even sure which day I'm catching up to or from anymore.

shutting down

feeling a little blue... I wish I was still in hawaii.
The skies were blue, the air was warm, so many people were generous and ready to laugh and dance, I got to hang about upside down, and possibilities were open...